food is my addiction. I do not drink alcohol to excess, I do not use drugs, I do not over-exercise (although it probably wouldn’t hurt to have more movement in my life), I do not get involved in sleazy things on-line or in real life, I do not…the list goes on and on and on. I do, however, eat.
The problem with food as an addiction is you need it to survive. It’s not like you can just stop eating and attend meetings and be “dry” or “clean.” You have to eat. I could stop eating chocolate or sugar, but then I would eat more bread or meat or cheese. I can not survive on veggies alone (although I love them, I would go crazy). You know, they say when an alcoholic or drug addict return to using after being “dry” they start off right where they left off. So, for example, an alcoholic who needed 24 beers to get drunk, would not automatically have a lower tolerance when they started drinking again. Their tolerance would already be high. So…if I start eating junk again, does that mean that I will automatically need that huge amount that I used to eat to make me feel good?
NO! I am working on changing my habits…eating and otherwise. I will learn moderation and appreciation for food. I will make sure I eat nutritious, well balanced foods, and when I don’t, I will learn to take them one bite at a time. Enjoy them and then move on. Eat only small portions and be positive about the way I feel after I eat them. I will not beat myself up over eating a cookie. I will say “that was enough. It was good, and now I am done.”
At least, I hope to. I know this is just another variation of what I have said in other blogs, but I just feel like I need to remind myself sometimes.
I hate that this is my addiction. Maybe I can change it to being addicted to being healthy. Anyone care to join me?