Monday, April 30, 2007

1 week...

I go back to work in 1 week. I am really struggling with this because I don’t want to. I want to be a stay at home mom. I am so enjoying it this time around (last time I had some baby blues so I was ready to go back). I love being with my son and daughter every day and I hate that I won’t be the one to take care of them, but I have to work. We do have a mortgage to pay.
I am struggling with the depression that this is causing me. It really makes me sad, and in turn, makes me want to eat. I keep telling myself that I don’t need to, and it is working, but that little demon is still there.
No need to worry, yet, about me. I will be fine and I am in a good place right now where I can continually push that little buggar away when he says “go on, you want to binge…” The thing is, I don’t. I don’t want to binge. I want to be healthy. So, I will be.
I still have to go back to work and when I get there, I will have to deal with all the food and parties and events that they have but I will be fine. So will my kids. I just wish…
If only I could win the lottery!

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